WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
