6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I just found a bag of teeth...
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
third nipple confirmed
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
