if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
