It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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