Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
