If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
