last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
