Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Randomize
