Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
