I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize