I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
