did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
