you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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