Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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