i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
