He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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