I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
