I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
