well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
