Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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