i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
