Only a mothe r could love this liver
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize