I look better un-naked...
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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