what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize