Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
