I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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