I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
