this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
