Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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