I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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