so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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