so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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