I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
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