Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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