I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I currently don't understand fingers.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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