you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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