We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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