so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
