Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize