He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
