i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize