My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
