God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
