Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
