Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Randomize
