I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
