it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
