it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize