I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
