it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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