dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
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