I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
