Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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