dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
