yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
only you would photoshop your dick
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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