I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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