dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
