Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
