Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
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Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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