just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
this boner is exhausting
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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