just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize