What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
My vagina just recognized that song.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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